The Picture Book

Chapter XVIII: Eat Me

2010-12-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

From Alice in Wonderland: CHAPTER ONE

Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. `I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)

Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again. Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned to corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if your hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.

     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up like a telescope.'

And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going though the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried.

`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!'

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

Chapter XVII: Artistic Aspirations & Medical Aspirations

2010-08-29T22:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes referred to as Fine Needle Aspiration or FNA, needle aspiration is a procedure in which a needle is inserted into a body, most typically into tumours or cysts, to remove fluid. In some cases, needle aspiration is used to completely drain a hazardous area of fluid. In others, needle aspiration is used to remove a portion of fluid from within a tumour or cysts so that studies can be performed.

Typically, a long, thin needle is inserted into the body, and fluid is taken out in a matter of minutes. This is typically outpatient procedure, and no sedation is required. The procedure is generally used in conjunction with CT scan or Ultrasound as a guide. Occasionally, X-Ray is used as well, but this is less common.

Needle aspiration can also be used in the case of a biopsy, and is frequently used in situations involving oncology reports.

Chapter XVI: "Send Me A Pillow, The One That You Dream On"

2010-08-06T00:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks to user gahachino of everything2.com for the following....

"Send Me A Pillow, The One That You Dream On"

Send me your tear stained pillow, the one that you clutch to your heart in the middle of the night when you wake up and realize that you are alone.

Send me the evidence of your delicate dreams, dissolved into sugared ragged breaths, the smell of your imaginary conquests.

Send me the creases in your cheek, the lines and deep furrows of a night spent in unblinking melancholy - too tired to seek me out, too alone to feel at home.

Send it all to me, and I will tear at the dirty flannel of your nightmares with my teeth.
I will burn it up with my rage at the unfairness of a feeling you can't control.

I'll send you mine, with the dream of a warm autumn night, and the capitalization of Love.
I will ask you to breathe deep and remember that dreams fade.

And I'm here.

Chapter XV: Love Links All in "This Collection of Souls"

2010-04-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everything2.com's TheDeadGuy for the following work...

The energy cannot be seen in its pure form. It takes the form of things and ideas. As the beauty of a flower is a form of the energy, so is the thought you just had to get some ice cream. The energy mutates at will and without it there is nothingness. The void of no perception.

The closest to a pure form of the energy is love, for love is very similar to the energy itself. Love is watered down well whiskey on the rocks while the energy is perfect whiskey tasted without it ever touching anything but your lips. Life is the glass, the water and the ice.

When the energy mutates, it leaves a void in the form it leaves behind. Life mutates into another form of the energy and death fills the void. Love continues to exist. It does not mutate as well as life. When that love cannot be given or expressed, a well is created. The more that we love and are left with no open way to express that love, the greater becomes our need to give that love where we can.

Love is what happens when the energy gives birth to life, for all things depend on it in some form. Love is how souls communicate with each other. They are otherwise alone within their own realities. If souls do not find ways to communicate with each other, they begin to atrophy.

Love is what happens when souls communicate.

The connection between certain forms of love and reproduction is not coincidental. Souls conceive as well as bodies. If the souls are not communicating at the moment of physical conception, a void remains that must somehow be filled.

Because the act of sexual reproduction naturally exposes two people to each other in many ways, it is very rarely that souls do not communicate during conception.

The energy may take the shape of love only for an instant in time, or it may maintain that shape forever. Most forms of love fall towards the shorter, those that increase in intensity over time are to be treasured.

Souls form bonds over time by communicating with each other. The strongest bonds are those forged in the creation or relighting of souls, conception.

Each soul travels and accumulates and loses energy. It takes a certain amount of energy to be relit in various frames. The lower frames require little energy to relight a soul. The higher frames require a great deal of energy before allowing a soul to be relit within them. The lower one sinks, the more difficult it is to rise to a higher frame. One must work to accumulate positive energy in order to rise in the frames. The giving of love is the greatest generator of positive energy. That positive energy is greatly reduced when one gives, not just of love but of anything, while expecting a return on investment.

Love is not an investment.

Negative energy is created by taking, and it is much stronger when nothing is given in return or when what is taken is not offered. The thief, the rapist and the murderer accumulate more negative energy than they can balance in one lifetime. A liar creates as much, if not more, negative energy than a thief.

A soul remains in one frame and its equivalents as long as it remains in balance. When it is stronger in positive energy, it rises. When it is stronger in negative energy, it falls.

A soul can be destroyed by falling too low, beyond what can be framed. Soul death is the result of having no other soul to orbit, either within the nothingness beyond frames or where no other soul will enter its orbit.

A dead soul is as immortal as a living soul.
It floats forever alone and unable to feel anything.

Those who accumulate enough positive energy to rise to a higher level of being experience enlightenment. Their souls may be able to communicate with souls at a higher level of being. The soul begins to travel before the body. The soul always connects with the next frame before the body, however it may only be an instant. Souls exist on a different concept of time where an instant outside in a frame may be as long as a thousand years within the soul.

A poor starving man, beaten and cheated by his cruel overlord has more opportunity to travel higher than he who dines at the overlord's table.

The souls of a liberated people have less opportunity for higher travel, but a frame can itself rise higher when the souls of its people as a whole generate more positive energy than negative energy. Prophets have spoken of frames rising and teachers have attempted to pass the knowledge that it can be done.

When something is taken from you, whether it is a material thing, your life or your dignity, you expel negative energy that is absorbed by the thief in question. A man who stabs another man is wounding his own soul with the negative energy he takes from the man he is stabbing. One can only avoid absorbing negative energy from taking the life of one without any negative energy. Such an soul would absorb and destroy negative energy from those who try to take from him.

The blueprint of the soul is not a document in the sense that documents are defined here. It is a living document comprised of the energy, defined by those who have written in it by existing. It is the heart of the energy.

Religions become a necessity in creating gatherings for passage together into a higher frame. At the heart of any true religion are the same teachings, surrounded by a myriad of rituals and trappings. These help to define a higher frame, and often to define a lower frame. Passage together to a frame conceived within the collective reality of the religion allows those who accumulate enough positive energy to advance to that higher frame. For those who would not follow the heart of the teachings and seek to expel negative energy, it is pointless to expect any frame advancement. For those that do follow, and believe, a convergence of souls occurs within the higher frame.

Most religions have at their heart the same code, although the translations are done within different collective realities and therefore vary within that context. The particulars change. Any religion with the code as its heart will be able to penetrate the core of individual souls, focusing their fundamental spiritual reality on a shared vision. Souls place their faith in a higher being's guidance and wisom, thus granting power to that being. A kingdom in a higher frame is more powerful and means something different than it does within this frame. The subjects of a higher frame often come to that frame through their faith in a higher being there.

It is easier to follow an existing trail into a higher frame than it is to create your own. Not only must one be able to envision the frame and create it from faith, one must then be able to populate the new frame with other souls or one will remain alone there until the guidelines of that frame allow you to exit.

Harmony is the ultimate goal of souls, but each soul's perception of that harmony is different. This is why there are very few souls one can find true harmony with. Total harmony is as easy to attain as soul perfection. We journey in search of the harmony, to experience all things and to be one with all.

Chapter XIV: Synthesizing Synapses & New Neurons: What Is Neuroplasticity?

2010-02-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Neuroplasticity
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Neuroplasticity challenges the idea that brain functions are fixed in certain locations.

Neuroplasticity (also referred to as brain plasticity, cortical plasticity or cortical re-mapping) is the changing of neurons, the organization of their networks, and their function via new experiences. This idea was first proposed in 1890 by William James in The Principles of Psychology, though the idea was largely neglected for the next fifty years.[1] The first person to use the term neural plasticity appears to have been the Polish neuroscientist Jerzy Konorski.[2]

The brain consists of nerve cells (or "neurons") and glial cells which are interconnected, and learning may happen through change in the strength of the connections, by adding or removing connections, or by adding new cells. "Plasticity" relates to learning by adding or removing connections, or adding cells. During the 20th century, the consensus was that lower brain and neocortical areas were immutable in structure after childhood, meaning learning only happens by changing of connection strength, whereas areas related to memory formation, such as the hippocampus and dentate gyrus, where new neurons continue to be produced into adulthood, were highly plastic. This belief is being challenged by new findings, suggesting all areas of the brain are plastic even after childhood. [3] Hubel and Wiesel had demonstrated that ocular dominance columns in the lowest neocortical visual area, V1, were largely immutable after the critical period in development.[4] Critical periods also were studied with respect to language; the resulting data suggested that sensory pathways were fixed after the critical period. However, studies determined that environmental changes could alter behavior and cognition by modifying connections between existing neurons and via neurogenesis in the hippocampus and other parts of the brain, including the cerebellum[5].

Decades of research have now shown that substantial changes occur in the lowest neocortical processing areas, and that these changes can profoundly alter the pattern of neuronal activation in response to experience. According to the theory of neuroplasticity, thinking, learning, and acting actually change both the brain's physical structure (anatomy) and functional organization (physiology) from top to bottom. Neuroscientists are presently engaged in a reconciliation of critical period studies demonstrating the immutability of the brain after development with the new findings on neuroplasticity, which reveal the mutability of both structural and functional aspects. A substantial paradigm shift is now under way: Canadian psychiatrist Norman Doidge has in fact stated that neuroplasticity is "one of the most extraordinary discoveries of the twentieth century."[6]

Treatment of brain damage

A surprising consequence of neuroplasticity is that the brain activity associated with a given function can move to a different location; this can result from normal experience and also occurs in the process of recovery from brain injury. Neuroplasticity is the fundamental issue that supports the scientific basis for treatment of acquired brain injury with goal-directed experiential therapeutic programs in the context of rehabilitation approaches to the functional consequences of the injury.

The adult brain is not "hard-wired" with fixed and immutable neuronal circuits. There are many instances of cortical and subcortical rewiring of neuronal circuits in response to training as well as in response to injury. There is solid evidence that neurogenesis, the formation of new nerve cells, occurs in the adult, mammalian brain—and such changes can persist well into old age.[3] The evidence for neurogenesis is mainly restricted to the hippocampus and olfactory bulb, but current research has revealed that other parts of the brain, including the cerebellum, may be involved as well[5]. In the rest of the brain, neurons can die, but they cannot be created. However, there is now ample evidence for the active, experience-dependent re-organization of the synaptic networks of the brain involving multiple inter-related structures including the cerebral cortex. The specific details of how this process occurs at the molecular and ultrastructural levels are topics of active neuroscience research. The manner in which experience can influence the synaptic organization of the brain is also the basis for a number of theories of brain function including the general theory of mind and epistemology referred to as Neural Darwinism and developed by immunologist Nobel laureate Gerald Edelman. The concept of neuroplasticity is also central to theories of memory and learning that are associated with experience-driven alteration of synaptic structure and function in studies of classical conditioning in invertebrate animal models such as Aplysia. This latter program of neuroscience research has emanated from the ground-breaking work of another Nobel laureate, Eric Kandel, and his colleagues at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons.

Applications of neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity is one of the most important and developing topics in Neuroscience today. Dr. Donald Stein, who wrote one of the first books on brain plasticity, Brain Injury and Recovery, defined “Brain plasticity as the ability for the organism to adapt to the changes in its environment in a positive and adaptive way because it’s not just enough to change…”[14] Norman Doidge’s book, The Brain that Changes Itself has ample examples of plasticity. There have been several pioneers through this idea of neuroplasticity. Between 30 to 40 years ago there was a notion that each point on the body directly correlates with a specific point on the ‘brain map,’ essentially, “anatomically hard-wired at birth.”[5] There was no hope for people suffering from a brain injury according to the doctors that believed the hardwired system. A few key scientists did not believe in this doctrine and proceeded to seek another answer.

Paul Bach-y-Rita

Paul Bach-y-Rita, deceased in 2006, was the “father of sensory substitution and brain plasticity.”[12] In working with a patient whose vestibular system had been damaged he developed BrainPort, a machine that “replaces her vestibular apparatus and [will] send balance signals to her brain from her tongue.”[5] After she had used this machine for some time it was no longer necessary, as she regained the ability to function normally. Her balancing act days were over. Plasticity is the major explanation for the phenomena. Because her vestibular system was “disorganized” and sending random rather than coherent signals, the apparatus found new pathways around the damaged or blocked neural pathways, helping to reinforce the signals that were sent by remaining healthy tissues. Bach-y-Rita explained plasticity by saying, “If you are driving from here to Milwaukee and the main bridge goes out, first you are paralyzed. Then you take old secondary roads through the farmland. Then you use these roads more; you find shorter paths to use to get where you want to go, and you start to get there faster. These “secondary” neural pathways are “unmasked” or exposed and strengthened as they are used. The “unmasking” process is generally thought to be one of the principal ways in which the plastic brain reorganizes itself.”[5]

In addition to helping patients with their balance problems, Bach y Rita invented a device that allowed blind people to read, perceive shadows, and distinguish between close and distant objects. This “machine was one of the first and boldest applications of neuroplasticity.”[5] The patient sat in an electrically stimulated chair that had a large camera behind it which scanned the area, sending electrical signals of the image to four hundred vibrating stimulators on the chair against the patient’s skin. The six subjects of the experiment were eventually able to recognize a picture of the supermodel Twiggy.[5] It must be emphasized that these people were congenitally blind and had previously not been able to see. Bach-y-Rita believed in sensory substitution; if one sense is damaged, your other senses can sometimes take over. He thought skin and its touch receptors could act as a retina (using one sense for another). In order for the brain to interpret tactile information and convert it into visual information, it has to learn something new and adapt to the new signals. The brain's capacity to adapt implied that it possessed plasticity. He thought, “We see with our brains, not with our eyes.”[5]

A tragic stroke that left his father paralyzed inspired Bach-y-Rita to study brain rehabilitation. His brother, a physician, worked tirelessly to develop therapeutic measures which were so successful that the father recovered complete functionality by age 68 and was able to live a normal, active life which even included mountain climbing. “His father’s story was firsthand evidence that a ‘late recovery’ could occur even with a massive lesion in an elderly person.”[5] He found more evidence of this possible brain reorganization with Shepherd Ivory Franz’s work. One study involved stroke patients who were able to recover through the use of brain stimulating exercises after having been paralyzed for years. “Franz understood the importance of interesting, motivating rehabilitation: ‘Under conditions of interest, such as that of competition, the resulting movement may be much more efficiently carried out than in the dull, routine training in the laboratory’(Franz, 1921, pg.93).”[13] This notion has led to motivational rehabilitation programs that are used today.

Michael Merzenich

Michael Merzenich is a neuroscientist who has been one of the pioneers of brain plasticity for over three decades. He has made some of “the most ambitious claims for the field - that brain exercises may be as useful as drugs to treat diseases as severe as schizophrenia - that plasticity exists from cradle to the grave, and that radical improvements in cognitive functioning - how we learn, think, perceive, and remember are possible even in the elderly.”[5] Merzenich’s work was affected by a crucial discovery made by David Hubel and Torsten Wiesel in their work with kittens. The experiment involved sewing one eye shut and recording the cortical brain maps. Hubel and Wiesel saw that the portion of the kitten’s brain associated with the shut eye was not idle, as expected. Instead, it processed visual information from the open eye. It was“… as though the brain didn’t want to waste any ‘cortical real estate’ and had found a way to rewire itself.”[5] This implied brain plasticity during the critical period. However, Merzenich argued that brain plasticity could occur beyond the critical period. His first encounter with adult plasticity came when he was engaged in a postdoctoral study with Clinton Woosley. The experiment was based on observation of what occurred in the brain when one peripheral nerve was cut and subsequently regenerated. The two scientists micromapped the hand maps of monkey brains before and after cutting a peripheral nerve and sewing the ends together. Afterwards, the hand map in the brain that was expected to be jumbled was nearly normal. This was a substantial breakthrough. Merzenich asserted that “if the brain map could normalize its structure in response to abnormal input, the prevailing view that we are born with a hardwired system had to be wrong. The brain had to be plastic.”[5]

Early in his career Merzenich collaborated with a group of people to develop the cochlear implant, which allows congenitally deaf people to hear. He also developed a series of “plasticity-based computer programs known as Fast ForWord .” FastForWord offers seven brain exercises to help with the language and learning deficits of dyslexia. In a recent study, experimental training was done in adults to see if it would help to counteract the negative plasticity that results from age-related cognitive decline (ARCD). The ET design included six exercises designed to reverse the dysfunctions caused by ARCD in cognition, memory, motor control, and so on [9]. After use of the ET program for 8–10 weeks, there was a “significant increase in task-specific performance.”[9] The data collected from the study indicated that a brain plasticity-based program could notably improve cognitive function and memory in adults with ARCD.

Vilanyanur S. Ramachandran

Among his many other accomplishments in neuroscience, Vilayanur S. Ramachandran is famous for his work regarding phantom limbs, or “…the vivid impression that the limb is not only still present but also painful,”[14] which is called Phantom limb syndrome [2]. This phenomenon arises from tragic limb loss through accident, amputation or other means. Those who suffer from this syndrome experience painful sensations in their stumps described as feeling like spasmodic clenching of the hands caused by “nails digging into my palm.”[14] A possible explanation for this is that the brain is sending signals to the missing hand, and in the absence of feedback from the missing arm the signals are continuously sent without the availability of a shutoff mechanism. To counteract this, Ramachandran reasoned, the brain needs to receive visual feedback that the arm is moving in the correct manner. Ramachandran and William Hirstein “constructed a ‘virtual reality box,’” (mirror box) to allow “patients to perceive movement in a non-existent arm.”[14] The box has a mirror and a place to put the existing and phantom arms. The patient sees his real arm in the mirror, which creates the illusion of two arms. When the patient sends motor commands to both arms, they receive visual feedback that his phantom hand is moving properly. For many patients, this technique has been effective in relieving phantom limb pain.

Active laboratory groups include those of John Donoghue at Brown, Richard Andersen at Caltech, Krishna Shenoy at Stanford, Nicholas Hatsopoulos of University of Chicago, Andy Schwartz at University of Pittsburgh, Sandro Mussa-Ivaldi at Northwestern and Miguel Nicolelis at Duke. Donoghue and Nicolelis' groups have independently shown that animals can control external interfaces in tasks requiring feedback, with models based on activity of cortical neurons, and that animals can adaptively change their minds to make the models work better. Donoghue's group took the implants from Richard Normann's lab at Utah (the "Utah" array), and improved it by changing the insulation from polyimide to parylene-c, and commercialized it through the company Cyberkinetics. These efforts are the leading candidate for the first human trials on a broad scale for motor cortical implants to help quadriplegic or locked-in patients communicate with the outside world.

Chapter XIII: Are You With It? Talking Carny

2009-05-18T14:05:00.001-07:00

CARNY VOCABULARY:

Though these terms are traditionally part of carnival cant, a secret language, it is an ever-changing form of communication, and in large part designed to be impossible to understand by an outsider. Thus, as words are assimilated into the culture at large, they lose their function and are replaced by other more obscure or insular terms.^{[citation needed]} Most carnies no longer talk this way. However, many owners/operators and "old-timers" still use some of the classic terms. Jargon that refers to money or drugs is still used frequently.^{[citation needed]}

The British form of fairground cant is called "Parlyaree."

Agent - Operator of a joint.
Alibi - A technique used where the player has apparently won the game, but is denied a prize when the jointee invents a further, unforeseeable, condition of the game. For example, a player may be disqualified on the grounds of having leaned over a previously undisclosed "foul line."
Bally - A free performance intended to attract both tips and visitors to the nearby sideshow.
Blow - Cocaine
Blow Off - Rush of customers out of an exhibition.
Bone yard - Place at which employees stay when not working.
Burn the lot - To cheat players with little or no attempt to conceal the subterfuge, in the carny's expectation that the same town will not be visited again.
Butcher - A carnie that will take every penny from a mark by confusing them and then forcing them to pay
Call - The act of yelling out slogans and interacting with passers-by to attract business.
Circus "jump" - Term used to describe the need to tear down, drive, set up and work in another town, the very next day.
Donniker - Bathroom
Flat - A game that is rigged to prevent wins. Illegal in most states.
Flash - To make a joint look "flashy" or ready for business.
Forty Miler - A greenie who is willing to travel, but only short distances from their home base. Also used to describe anyone or anything that is perceived to be fake or phony.
Gaff - To rig a game so as to make it unwinnable
Green Help - Employees hired at a new location that are only temporary (a.k.a. greenies).
Hammer-Squash - Used to describe an individual as dumb or stupid (used interchangeably with Larry when used to describe a person).
Hey, Rube! - An exclamation used to summon help by a carny in trouble, either from police or disgruntled players. The term was used as the title of a sports column written by Hunter Thompson for ESPN.com in his later years.
Ikey Heyman - A wheel of fortune that can be secretly braked by the carny
-iz or -erza - Inserted between the syllables of words to serve as a cipher or cryptolect.
Key To The Midway - An object a carnival worker will ask a younger customer (or new initiate) for when asked for a free game or prize. The idea is that the 'mooch' will go onto the next game and ask for a "Key To The Midway", only to find out that this new carny has one, but can only give it up for some other far fetched item. This is a form of a fool's errand. Examples of such items include: A cordless extension cord, a solar-powered flash light, an underwater lighter, tack glue, a left-handed screwdriver, light bulb grease, purple fuzzy tape, glass hammer etc. The idea is to have fun at the customer's naivety. It's said that the Ferris wheel has been known to be called the key to the midway, as no proper midway should be without one. Others call the Jenny the key, as it's traditionally the first thing encountered when entering the midway. The Ferris wheel is sometimes called the "calling card", a title which can be applied to any high ride which is visible from long distances. A Merry-Go-Round or Carousel is also known as the key to the midway by some shows, as it is usually in the center of the midway.
The Kitty - Budgeted amount of finance, regulated by the management of a carnival for purchasing food and supplies for its workers. ("We wanted a new tent, but there's no more scratch in the kitty.")
Larry - Defective
Loc(ation) - Location of a joint or ride as determined by the carnival manager. Usually laid out before set-up.
Lot - The Lot is the carnival midway area where the rides & "joints" are set up
Lot Lizard - Describes a carny (usually female) who has multiple sexual partners (also carnys), or one who tends to "sleep-around" or cheat with other carnies on the lot.
Mark - A target for swindling, especially one whose gullibility has been demonstrated. Derived from the covert use of chalk to mark the backs of especially ripe targets. The term has entered the popular lexicon, usually as "easy mark."
Midway - Center strip of the carnival where the games or rides are located.
Money
- ace ($1)
- fin ($5)
- sawbuck/saw ($10)
- double ($20)
- half-yard ($50)
- yard or c-note ($100)
- large or K ($1000)
Mooch - An individual who asks for a free game or prize. It is also used to describe someone who watches others play, but does not play themselves or asks a lot of questions with no intention of playing the game. Sometimes used as an insult between carnies to connote cheapness.
New - An insult used by carnies, against carnies (newbie). Used in instances where a carnival worker should know better, with the insulter asking "What are you, new?"
The Nut - The sum total (in cash) of a performance, or group of performances. The nut (or kernel) is also sometimes used to refer to the basic operating expense of the joint (including the "patch"). To "make your nut" is to break even, anything beyond that is profit (or tip).
Oats - Stolen money from a concession.
Patch money - Money used to induce police officers to turn a blind eye. Also known as juice or ice.
Plush - Stuffed animals to be given away as prizes
Poke - The Mark's wallet is known as their Poke. When a carnie tries to see how much is in a mark's wallet they "Peek their poke"
Possum belly (sometimes possum gut) compartment under a truck or trailer
Possum belly queen or PBQ - A girl who would have sex in a possum belly.
Ride jock (or jockey) - Someone who operates the carnival rides (vs. jointee).
Rousty or Roustabout - A temporary or full-time laborer who helps pitch concessions and assemble rides. In the 1930s, American roustabouts would work for a meal and perhaps a tent to share with other workers.
Scratch - The revenue from a concession, or money in general.
Score - Any scratch won by any means, fair or foul.
Sharpie - The opposite of a mark: an experienced player who is wise to traditional carny scams and is skilled at the games themselves.
Shill (or outside man) - An employee who pretends to be a casual player sometimes pretending to win big prizes in order to make the game seem easily winnable. Shills may also stroll the fairground holding a large plush (stuffed animal) bragging about how easy it was to win it. Shills may also rush into ticket lines for sideshows or be the first to buy products for sale so that onlookers will feel less reluctant to do the same.
Slough - To tear down a "joint" and get it ready for the road.
Slum - Stuff that makes someone want to kill the person selling it to them; small cheap stock
Speak the language - Used as a test to see if someone is really "with it". Many carnies "qualify" outsiders by using the jargon. A string of jargon or carny-talk is spoken to determine if the other person understands. A person who fails the test is said to "not speak the language" indicating "newness". A newbie who is good or looks promising might be said to not speak the language yet, which is more complimentary.
Spinning / flying Jenny or Jinny - Carnie slang for merry-go-round.^[3]
Spring - Open the carnival.
Stick Joint - Homemade wooden or metal booth.
Stock- Game prizes
Straight - A game that is played by the rules
Sugar Shack - A concession or food-stand that sells cotton candy and other sugary treats.
Store - Can mean any joint, but is usually used to refer to a "straight store" where there's a winner every time. The store is basically selling stock, usually slum, for a handsome profit.
Tip - Generally has two meanings, depending on context. Old-timers usually mean the crowd that gathers around a caller or mike-man to hear the spiel before the start of the next show, or the crowd that hangs around a joint, watching others play. A more general meaning is any scratch the agent wins from his game as in "I just won a real nice tip from that last mark".
Two-Way Joint - A game that can be quickly converted from a fixed, unwinnable game into a temporarily honest one when police officers come by.
With it - A carny, to identify one another, as in "I'm with it", or "Are you with it"? (With the show).

Chapter XII: Looks Like It's Already Dead

2009-04-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

VIRUSES ARE ELEGANT THINGS:
an idea by Fluffy the Cat of everything2.com

Viruses can be surprisingly elegant things. While some, such as CMV, contain as much genetic material as some bacteria, others have the bare minimum to be able to enter a cell and reproduce. It's tempting to think of viruses as incredibly cunning organisms - in fact, it's probably more accurate to think of them as a self-sustaining chemical reaction which happens to involve animal cells. Viruses don't think, yet are capable of defeating a highly evolved immune system and everything modern science can throw at them. I find them both terrifying and strangely attractive. See prions for the logical continuation of simplifying infective bodies, and become somewhat concerned.

Chapter XI: The Mermaid Problem

2009-03-30T17:20:00.001-07:00

The Mermaid problem is an observation occasionally mentioned in literature, concerning the difficulty of having sexual intercourse with a mermaid. Although mermaids are commonly depicted as beautiful, variably nude, and enticing, a man attempting to have sex with one would be thwarted by the typical portrayal of the creature: a fish from the waist down, with no vagina. Some fiction, aware of the long running question, deliberately avoids the question for humorous effect.^[1] More generally, it can also be a joking reference to the unusual sexual interest many non-human characters seem to have with humans in fantasy or science fiction, and potential physical issues therein.

Mythical biology

Theoretically a mermaid would reproduce as most aquatic animals do, by external fertilization, requiring a human male to deposit his seed underwater onto her eggs. (The confusion is further compounded by the fact that mermaids are usually depicted with a navel and breasts,^[2] which would suggest placental vivipary rather than ovipary.) However, this situation is sometimes rectified by portraying mermaids as having genitalia more similar to dolphins than fish,^[3] or having the ability to change into human form, e.g. the fishtail splitting into two legs when it dries, and again turning into fishtail when the legs touch with water. A prominent example of this is the Touchstone Pictures film Splash where the Mermaid character Madison, portrayed by Daryl Hannah, transforms into human form and sustains a romantic and sexual relationship with Allen Bauer, portrayed by Tom Hanks, while retaining many of her undersea habits and mannerisms.

A French idiom, finir en queue de poisson (to end with the tail of a fish), makes reference to this difficulty; it refers to a promising start that ends in disappointment. It originates from a line in Horace's Ars Poetica: Desinit in piscem mulier formosa superne (the beautiful woman ends in a fish's tail).

Historical perspective

Interestingly this was not always an issue. In the past it was not uncommon for a mermaid (actually a medieval siren or melusine) to be portrayed as having a split tail, with a vagina located (or merely implied to be) between the two parts. H. P. Lovecraft's short story "Dagon"^[4] and the logo of the American coffee chain Starbucks are examples of this. In the original version of the logo the mermaid is shown spreading her tail apart up to her head. While this has been cropped out, and the drawing in general slightly reworked over the years, her tails are still visible around the edges.

Examples

In the Futurama episode "The Deep South", Fry befriends and romances a mermaid from the lost sunken city of Atlanta. He later has his hopes dashed after attempting sex with a very confused partner, who expected sex more typical of a fish. As he runs away from Atlanta he laments, "Why couldn't she have been the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on top, and the lady part on the bottom?"^[5]

The other kind of mermaid.

In the Red Dwarf episode "Better than Life", the Cat solves the same problem while playing a virtual reality game when he dates a mermaid with exactly that physical description. When ship's mainframe Holly notes "Somehow I'd imagined she'd be a woman on the top and a fish on the bottom," the Cat replies "No, that's the stupid way around!" Coincidentally, Craig Charles (who plays the character David Lister on Red Dwarf) also plays the title role in the Channel 4 sitcom Captain Butler, who is enticed to wed a mermaid but reconsiders as he finds out he has to be transformed into a half-man-half-fish hybrid with the "fish half on top".

The poet/songwriter Shel Silverstein made this problem the centerpiece of his humorous song "The Mermaid", about a sailor who is warned against falling in love with a mermaid, which he proceeds to do. The lyrics read in part, "From her head to her waist she was my taste but the bottom part was a fish." The song ends with the sailor dejected after being dumped by his new mermaid love, but finding consolation when "her sister swam on by, and set my heart awhirl / For her upper part was an ugly old fish but the bottom part was girl!"^[6] The song is covered on the Great Big Sea album The Hard and the Easy. The album's cover features a "reverse mermaid" with an enticing pair of crossed legs in high heels, with the upper body of a fish. The back artwork shows a regular mermaid.

Another example of a reverse mermaid is a surrealist painting by René Magritte which depicts a mermaid with a fish torso and woman's legs which has washed up on shore.

The folk song "The End of the Tail", a parody response to the Meg Davis song "Captain Jack and the Mermaid", hinges on this issue of a mermaid's lack of traditional female parts.

In season 27, episode 1, of Saturday Night Live, a sailor (played by Will Ferrell) crash landed on an island and met a mermaid, played by host Reese Witherspoon. He wanted to know who her parents were and was confused about her being half woman half fish. The mermaid then introduced her father who sang about how he has "had sex with a lot of things" and about her own fish genitalia, grossing out the sailor. The father also addresses his view: "It's no crime to hump a fish".^[7]

In the Family Guy episode "Lois Kills Stewie," Lois Griffin is saved after being gunned down on a ship at sea and falling overboard by a merman whom Lois describes as "kind of the reverse of what you'd expect a merman to be," being that he had the upper body of a fish and the legs of a man, his loin covered with a seashell. He offers to make love to her, but she turns him down due to his awkward appearance; the merman "puts a huge hole in [her] logic" by saying that having a man's lower body is the only way he can have a penis.

The webcomic Penny Arcade also makes a joke on this subject when Gabe remembers his younger "Undersea adventures" or, rather, his attempts at having them. The comic closes with him asking Disney's Little Mermaid "Where the hell is your vagina?"^[1]

In a short story called "The Fisherman and his Soul" by Oscar Wilde a man falls in love with a mermaid and goes to live with her under the sea. After wisdom and wealth fail to entice him back to land, he returns to see the beautiful legs of a dancing girl.^[8]

A simple joke goes along the lines of a fisherman catching a mermaid, but deciding to let her go. His assistant asks "Why?" to which the fisherman replies, "How?"

P. C. Cast wrote of this particular problem in her novel Goddess of the Sea from her Goddess Summoning series. Within, the mermaid in question does have sex with a merman, though the sex on her part is never fully explained of 'how'. It is insinuated only that she has a slit within her tail, as does the male where the penis is located.

In Piers Anthony's novel "Mercycle", a race of merfolk who are the genetically modified descendants of normal humans appear. Although they appear to have a standard tail, the tail is actually divided in two in a structure closely based on human legs.^[9]

In the Xanth series by Piers Anthony, mermaids only appear as mermaids when they are in the water, and they turn into humans when they go on land.

In a short story by Francesca Lia Block titled "Mer", from her book Nymph: Nine Erotic Stories, the mermaid and the main character share a fulfilled sexual relationship through the use of oral sex, eliminating the necessity of a vagina.^[10]

The third and fourth installments of the adult film series Talk Dirty To Me feature mermaids who look to have sex with human men. In both films, the mermaids' tails automatically appear when the mermaids are in water, just like in the mainstream film Splash. When they are dry, however, the mermaids are able to change their tails to legs and back, at will.

In the mythos of contemporary poet Paul Shepard, the 'mermaid problem' is not regarded as a problem at all, but as the mermaids' essential significance. In his The Siren Idea, Shepard's antihero narrator claims that an unnamed rival "invented" mermaids. This is presented as an act of plagiarism, derivative of the narrator's previously formulated "Principal of Impenetrable Beauty, [...] proving the sublimity of unconsummatable [sic] lust." ^[11]

Chapter X: Get a Corpse for your Keychain

2009-03-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

Keeping the sea horse from falling victim to its own charisma

By Dana Hawkins

Posted 1/12/03

Tucked away amid glue guns and stencils in a Michaels crafts shop are racks of 99-cent dead sea horses. Just half an inch long, the desiccated animals are labeled as Pygmy sea horses, a distinctive species. Actually, they appear to be babies. "I want to decorate my bathroom in a sea theme," enthuses a young guy at one of the national chain's warehouse-size stores in Vienna, Va. "I'll hang a fishing net on the wall and throw them in with shells."

Sea horses may not remain cheap baubles in the future. At least that's the intent of a recent decision to protect sea horses by the United Nations Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The first marine fish of commercial value to be listed, sea horses are threatened by a lucrative, growing global trade. More than 25 million animals a year are caught and dried for use in traditional Chinese medicine and as decorative curios or sold live for aquariums.

Many exploited populations plunged 15 percent to 50 percent from 1990 to 1995 and continue to decline, says Amanda Vincent, the world's leading expert on sea horses and director of Project Seahorse, which did the studies that spurred the CITES move. In the Philippines--the biggest exporter, followed by Thailand and India--some local populations have dwindled much further. "People want to make sure there are always sea horses," says Vincent. "They're so intriguing and threatened that we can engage the public in a way that'd be difficult for a less sexy fish."

Horse trading. The decision requires all sea-horse-exporting countries among the 160 CITES signatories to measure their sea horse populations and catch, then set export quotas to protect threatened species. CITES may also require minimum size limits and encourage countries to set up marine sanctuaries. "As time goes by, we do expect sea horse availability to drop," says John Field, fisheries specialist with the United States Fish and Wildlife Service, which has responsibility for implementing the treaty in the United States.

Is it any wonder that these fairy-tale fishes, crowned with a coronet as unique as a thumbprint and encased in an armored coat, are so coveted? They have the head of a horse, the grasping tail of a monkey, and the independently roving eyes of a chameleon--along with its ability to blend into the background. They can change hue dramatically--even matching the screaming fluorescent orange of a biologist's flagging tape--grow bumps to disappear magically into corals, and sprout dermal tags and tendrils for camouflage among the mangrove roots and sea grass blades they call home.

Local fishers scoop them up in dip nets and by hand, or as by-catch, while trawling for shrimp. Sold as aquarium pets, they fetch up to $50 in the United States. Alas, the delicate creatures fare poorly in captivity. They are disease-prone and eat only live food such as tiny crustaceans, and sea horse first aid is in its infancy. Others are dried and made into trinkets such as key chains and yo-yos for sale in beachfront curio shops or are sold individually at crafts stores like Michaels. (Michaels did not respond to requests for comment on its sea horse sales.)

Chapter IX: My What Large Teeth You Have!

2009-02-25T18:56:00.000-08:00

How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!

Alice in Wonderland
-Lewis Carroll

Chapter VIII: Man Asking NetDoctor About His Libido

2009-02-21T18:42:00.000-08:00

Question:
Man writes:
I have experienced a loss of sex drive since becoming depressed.
I can get an erection and have full sex but the urge is not the same as before, and the feelings are not the same either. It is like I'm just going through the motions.
It is starting to affect my relationship with my wife. She is so understanding and supportive about my depression but she feels very rejected.
My doctor said that I should see how things go, but my wife and I are becoming desperate.

Answer:
NetDoctor writes:
I'm very sorry to hear about this.
Depression does affect a lot of people's sex drive,
and sometimes they just have to accept that.

Chapter VII: Aesop and His Birds

2009-02-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

THE RAVEN & THE SNAKE
A Raven in great want of food saw a Serpent asleep in a sunny nook, and flying down, greedily seized him. The Serpent, turning about, bit the Raven with a mortal wound. In the agony of death, the bird exclaimed: "O unhappy me! who have found in that which I deemed a happy windfall the source of my destruction."

Those who seek treasure in the destruction of others will ultimately meet their own destruction.

THE RAVEN & THE MERCHANTS
Some merchants were making a journey when they happened to meet a raven who was blind in one eye. The travelers halted and one of them said that the sign given to them by the raven meant that they should turn back home. Another member of the company protested, 'But how can such a bird predict what is going to happen to us, when he couldn't even predict the loss of his own eye in time to take preventive measures?'

Someone who cannot manage his own affairs is not qualified to give advice to his neighbors.

THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, & THE CROW
The mother of a small baby consulted a soothsayer who told her that her child would be killed by a crow. Terrified, the mother ordered that a large chest be built and she shut her baby inside, protecting him so that no crow could harm him. She continued in this way, opening the chest at regular intervals in order to give the baby the food that he needed. Then one day, after she had opened the chest and was using an iron bar to prop up the lid, the child recklessly stuck his head out. At that moment, the iron bar -- it was a crow bar -- fell down on top of the boy's head and killed him.

In the Greek the 'crow' (or, rather, korax, the 'raven') appears to have been an actual part of the chest, presumably a bar of black metal with a bend at one end, shaped like an English crow bar. However, other than the pun I see no real point behind this fable, certainly not any morals to take away: Don't put your baby in a box; get a hunting rifle?

Chapter VI: The Adopted Stray from the Streets of Mexico

2009-02-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

A woman from La Mesa, California, went to Tijuana, Mexico, to do some shopping. As any visitor to this border town knows, the streets near the shopping areas are populated with stray dogs. The woman took pity on one little stray and offered it a few bites of her lunch, after which it followed her around for the rest of the afternoon.

When it came time to return home, the woman had become so attached to her little friend that she couldn't bear to leave him behind. Knowing that it was illegal to bring a dog across the international border, she hid him among some packages on the seat of her car and managed to pass through the border checkpoint without incident. After arriving home, she gave the dog a bath, brushed his fur, then retired for the night with her newfound pet curled up at the foot of her bed.

When she awoke the next morning, the woman noticed that there was an oozing mucus around the dog's eyes and a slight foaming at the mouth. Afraid that the dog might be sick, she rushed him to a nearby veterinarian and returned home to await word on her pet's condition.

The call soon came. "I have just one question," said the vet. "Where did you get this dog?"

The woman didn't want to get into trouble, so she told the vet that she had found the dog running loose in the street near her home in La Mesa. But the vet didn't buy it. "You did not find this dog in La Mesa. Where did you get the dog?" The woman nervously admitted having brought the dog across the border from Tijuana.

"But tell me, doctor," she said. "What is wrong with my dog?"
His reply was brief and to the point. "First of all, it's not a dog — it's a Mexican sewer rat. And second, it's dying."

Chapter V: Postpartum Depression vs. Empty Nest Syndrome

2009-02-07T00:23:00.000-08:00

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is a serious illness that can occur in the first few months after childbirth. It also can happen after miscarriage and stillbirth.

Postpartum depression can make you feel very sad, hopeless, and worthless. You may have trouble caring for and bonding with your baby.

Postpartum depression is not the "baby blues," which many women have in the first couple of weeks after childbirth. With the blues, you may have trouble sleeping and feel moody, teary, and overwhelmed. You may have these feelings along with being happy about your baby. But the "baby blues" usually go away within a couple of weeks. The symptoms of postpartum depression can last for months.

In rare cases, a woman may have a severe form of depression called postpartum psychosis. She may act strangely, see or hear things that aren't there, and be a danger to herself and her baby. This is an emergency, because it can quickly get worse and put her or others in danger.

It’s very important to get treatment for depression. The sooner you get treated, the sooner you'll feel better and enjoy your baby.

What causes postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression seems to be brought on by the changes in hormone levels that occur after pregnancy. Any woman can get postpartum depression in the months after childbirth, miscarriage, or stillbirth.

You have a greater chance of getting postpartum depression if:

You've had depression or postpartum depression before.
You have poor support from your partner, friends, or family.
You have a sick or colicky baby.
You have a lot of other stress in your life.

You are more likely to get postpartum psychosis if you or someone in your family has bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depression).

What are the symptoms?

A woman who has postpartum depression may:

Feel very sad, hopeless, and empty. Some women also may feel anxious.
Lose pleasure in everyday things.
Not feel hungry and may lose weight. (But some women feel more hungry and gain weight).
Have trouble sleeping.
Not be able to concentrate.

These symptoms can occur in the first day or two after the birth. Or they can follow the symptoms of the baby blues after a couple of weeks.

If you think you might have postpartum depression, fill out this postpartum depression checklist . Take it with you when you see your doctor.

A woman who has postpartum psychosis may feel cut off from her baby. She may see and hear things that aren't there. Any woman who has postpartum depression can have fleeting thoughts of suicide or of harming her baby. But a woman with postpartum psychosis may feel like she has to act on these thoughts.

Empty-nest syndrome

is the name given to a psychological condition that can affect a woman around the time that one or more of her children leave home.
It's not a term you'll find in many medical text books, but it has become a useful phrase for encapsulating the feelings of sadness and loss that many women experience when their children no longer live with them or need day-to-day care.
It's most common in autumn, when vast numbers of teenagers have just left home for college or university.
It can also happen when a child gets married, because matrimony is a clear signal that Mum is no longer needed in the same way she once was.
Normal reactions
It's natural for a mother to feel some sadness when her child leaves home.
It is quite normal to have a little weep now and again – or even go into the absent child's bedroom and sit there for a bit in an attempt to feel closer to him or her.
We know of a successful, busy and confident woman - an agony aunt, in fact - who admitted she went into her son's bedroom to sniff his T-shirt shortly after he left to go to university for the first time.
So don't be ashamed of your feelings - they are natural.
More troubling reactions
But if you experience any of the following severe symptoms, you should seek professional help - especially if they go on for longer than a week.

You feel your useful life has ended.
You are crying excessively.
You're so sad you don't want to mix with friends or go to work.

In this kind of situation, what seems to happen is that the child's departure unleashes seriously depressed feelings, and these very definitely need treating.
If you know that your sadness is overwhelming you, do go and discuss your feelings with your GP as soon as possible.
You almost certainly could use some counselling to get your feelings into perspective, and you may need antidepressants.
A time of change
When a woman is at the stage in life where her kids are leaving, she may also be going through other major changes, such as dealing with the menopause or trying to cope with increasingly dependent elderly parents.
It can be a difficult time, and it's no disgrace if you need help of various kinds to get through it.
If menopausal symptoms are badly affecting you, and they seem worse because of your kids leaving home, see your GP who should be able to help.
You might also be interested in the work of the Natural Health Advisory Service or of the organisation called the Amarant Trust, which is devoted to improving the lot of women who are having difficulties with the menopause.

Chapter IV: Lewis Carroll: The World's Most Creative Paedophile

2009-02-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (IPA: /ˈdɒdsən/) (27 January 1832 – 14 January 1898), better known by the pen name Lewis Carroll (/ˈkærəl/), was an English author, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon and photographer.

His most famous writings are Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and its sequel Through the Looking-Glass as well as the poems "The Hunti ng of the Snark" and "Jabberwocky", all considered to be within the genre of literary nonsense.

His facility at word play, logic, and fantasy has delighted audiences ranging from children to the literary elite, and beyond this his work has become embedded deeply in modern culture, directly influencing many artists.

There are societies dedicated to the enjoyment and promotion of his works and the investigation of his life in many parts of the world including Un ited States of America, Japan, the United Kingdom, and New Zealand.

Early life

Antecedents

Dodgson's family was predominantly northern E nglish, with Irish connections. Conservative and High Church Anglican, most of Dodgson's ancestors were army officers or Church of England clergymen. His great-grandfather, also Charles Dodgson, had risen through the ranks of the church to become a bishop. His grandfather, another Charles, had been an army captain, killed in action in 1803 when his two sons were hardly more than babies. His mother's name was Frances Jane Lutwidge.

The elder of these sons — yet another Charles — was Carroll's father. He reverted to the other family business and took holy orders. He went to Rugby School, and thence to Christ Church, Oxford. He was mathematically gifted and won a double first degree, which could have been the prelude to a brilliant academic career. Instead he married his first cousin in 1827 and retired into obscurity as a country parson.^[1]

Young Charles' father was an active and highly conservative clergyman of the Anglican church who involved himself, sometimes influentially, in the intense religious disputes that were dividing the Anglican church. He was High Church, inclining to Anglo-Catholicism, an admirer of Newman and the Tractarian movement, and he did his best to instill such views in his children. Young Charles, however, was to develop an ambiguous relationship with his father's values and with the Anglican church as a whole.^[2]

Young Charles

Dodgson was born in the little parson age of Daresbury in Cheshire, the oldest boy but already the third child of the four-and-a-half year old marriage. Eight more were to follow. When Charles was 11, his father was given the living of Croft-on-Tees in north Yorkshire, and the whole family moved to the spacious Rectory. This remained their home for the next twenty-five years.

During the earlier times in his life, young Dodgson was educated at home. His "reading lists" preserved in the family testify to a precocious intellect: at the age of seven the child was reading The Pilgrim's Progress. He also suffered from a stammer — a condition shared by his siblings — that often influenced his social life throughout his years. At twelve he was sent away to a small private school at nearby Richmond, where he appears to have been happy and settled. But in 1846, young Dodgson moved on to Rugby School, where he was evidently less happy, for as he wrote some years after leaving the place:

I cannot say ... that any earthly considerations would induce me to go through my three years again ... I can honestly say that if I could have been ... secure from annoyance at night, the hardships of the daily life would have been comparative trifles to bear.^[3]

Scholastically, though, he excelled with apparent ease. "I have not had a more promising boy his age since I came to Rugby" observed R.B. Mayor, the Mathematics master.^[3]

Oxford

He left Rugby at the end of 1849 and, after an interval that remains unexplained, went on in January 1851 to Oxford, attending his father's old college, Christ Church. He had only been at Oxford two days when he received a summons home. His mother had died of "inflammation of the brain" — perhaps meningitis or a stroke — at the age of forty-seven.^[1]

His early academic career veered between high-octane promise and irresistible distraction. He may not always have worked hard, but he was exceptionally gifted and achievement came easily to him. In 1852 he received a First in Honour Moderations and was shortly thereafter nominated to a Studentship, by his father's old friend Canon Edward Pusey. However, a little later he failed an important scholarship through his self-confessed inability to apply himself to study. Even so, his talent as a mathematician won him the Christ Church Mathematical Lectureship,which he continued to hold for the next twenty-six years. The income was good, but the work bored him. Many of his pupils were older and richer than he was, and almost all of them were uninterested. However, despite early unhappiness, Dodgson was to remain at Christ Church, in various capacities, until his death.^[4]

Character and appearance

Physical appearance

The young adult Charles Dodgson was about six feet tall, slender and deemed handsome, with curling brown hair and blue or grey eyes (depending on the account). He was described in later life as somewhat asymmetrical, and as carrying himself rather stiffly and awkwardly, though this may be on account of a knee injury sustained in middle age. As a very young child, he suffered a fever that left him deaf in one ear. At the age of seventeen, he suffered a severe attack of whooping cough, which was probably responsible for his chronically weak chest in later life. Another defect he carried into adulthood was what he referred to as his "hesitation", a stammer he acquired in early childhood and which plagued him throughout his life.^[5]

Stammer

The stammer has always been a potent part of the conceptions of Dodgson; it is part of the belief that he stammered only in adult company and was free and fluent with children, but there is no evidence to support this idea.^[6] Many children of his acquaintance remembered the stammer while many adults failed to notice it. Dodgson himself seems to have been far more acutely aware of it than most people he met; it is said he caricatured himself as the Dodo in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, referring to his difficulty in pronouncing his last name, but this is one of the many "facts" oft-repeated, for which no firsthand evidence remains. He did indeed refer to himself as the dodo, but that this was a reference to his stammer is simply speculation.^[7]

Personality

Although Dodgson's stammer troubled him, it was never so debilitating that it prevented him from applying his other personal qualities to do well in society. At a time when people commonly devised their own amusements and when singing and recitation were required social skills, the young Dodgson was well-equipped to be an engaging entertainer. He could sing tolerably well and was not afraid to do so before an audience. He was adept at mimicry and storytelling, and was, reputedly, quite good at charades.^[5]

Dodgson was also quite socially ambitious and anxious to make his mark on the world as a writer or an artist. In the interim between his early published writing and the success of the Alice books, he began to move in the Pre-Raphaelite social circle. His scholastic career may well have been intended as something of a stop-gap on the way to other more exciting achievements. He first met John Ruskin in 1857 and became friendly with him. He developed a close relationship with Dante Gabriel Rossetti and his family, and also knew William Holman Hunt, John Everett Millais, and Art hur Hughes among other artists. He also knew the fairy-tale author George MacDonald well — it was the enthusiastic reception of Alice by the young MacDonald children that convinced him to submit the work for publication.^[5]^[8]

Dodgson the artist

The author

From a young age, Dodgson wrote poetry and short stories, both contributing heavily to the family magazine Mischmasch and later sending them to various magazines, enjoying moderate success. Between 1854 and 1856, his work appeared in the national publications, The Comic Times and The Train, as well as smaller magazines like the Whitby Gazette and the Oxford Critic. Most of this output was humorous, sometimes satirical, but his stand

ards and ambitions were exacting. "I do not think I have yet written anything worthy of real publication (in which I do not include the Whitby Gazette or the Oxonian Advertiser), but I do not despair of doing so some day", he wrote in July 1855.^[5]

In 1856 he published his first piece of work under the name that would make him famous. This piece was highly influenced by a famous author of the time, a certain J. E. Jones. A romantic poem called "Solitude" appeared in The Train under the authorship of "Lewis Carroll". This pseudonym was a play on his real name; Lewis was the anglicised form of Ludovicus, which was the Latin for Lutwidge, and Carroll being an anglicised version of Carolus, the Latin for Charles.^[1]

In the same year, 1856, a new Dean, Henry Liddell, arrived at Christ Church, bringing with him his young family, all of whom would figure largely in Dodgson's life and, over t

he following years, greatly influence his writing career. Dodgson became close friends with Liddell's wife, Lorina, and their children, particularly the three sisters: Lorina, Edith and Alice Liddell. He was for many years widely assumed to have derived his own "Alice" from Alice Liddell. This was given some apparent substance by the fact the acrostic poem at the end of Through the Looking Glass spells out her name, and that there are many superficial references to her hidden in the text of both books. Dodgson himself, however, repeatedly denied in later life that his "little heroine" was based on any real child,^[9]^[10] and frequently dedicated his works to girls of his acquaintance, adding their names in acrostic poems at the beginning of the text. Gertrude Chataway's name appears in this form at the beginning of The Hunting of the Snark, and no one has ever suggested this means any of the characters in the narrative are based on her.^[10]

Though information is scarce (Dodgson's diaries for the years 1858–1862 are missing), it does seem clear that his friendship with the Liddell family was an important part of his life in the late 1850s, and he grew into the habit of taking the children (first the boy, Harry, and later the three girls) on rowing trips to nearby Nuneham Courtenay or Godstow.^[11]

It was on one such expedition, on 4 July 1862, that Dodgson invented the outline of the story that eventually became his first and largest commercial success. Having told the story and been begged by Alice Liddell to write it down, Dodgson eventually (after much delay) presented her with a handwritten, illustrated manuscript entitled Alice's Adventures Under Ground in November 1864.^[11]

Before this, the family of friend and mentor George MacDonald read Dodgson's incomplete manuscript, and the enthusiasm of the MacDonald children encouraged Dodgson to seek publication. In 1863, he had taken the unfinished manuscript to Macmillan the publisher, who liked it immediately. After the possible alternative titles Alice Among the Fairies and Alice's Golden Hour were rejected, the work was finally published as Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in 1865 under the Lewis Carroll pen name, which Dodgson had first used some nine years earlier.^[8] The illustrations this time were by Sir John Tenniel; Dodgson evidently thought that a published book would need the skills of a professional artist.

The overwhelming commercial success of the first Alice book changed Dodgson's life in many ways. The fame of his alter ego "Lewis Carroll" soon spread around the world. He was inundated with fan mail and with sometimes unwanted attention. Indeed, according to one popular story that Dodgson denied decades later, Queen Victoria herself enjoyed Alice In Wonderland so much that she suggested he dedicate his next book to her, and was accordingly presented with his next work, a scholarly volume entitled An Elementary Treatise on Determinants.^[12]^[13] He also began earning quite substantial sums of money. However, he didn't use this income as a means of abandoning his seemingly disliked post at Christ Church.^[8]

In 1872, a sequel — Through the Looking-Glass And What Alice Found There — was published. Its somewhat darker mood possibly reflects the changes in Dodgson's life. His father had recently died (1868), plunging him into a depression that would last some years.^[8]

The Hunting of the Snark

In 1876, Dodgson produced his last great work, The Hunting of the Snark, a fantastical "nonsense" poem, exploring the adventures of a bizarre crew of variously inadequate beings, and one beaver, who set off to find the eponymous creature. The painter Dante Gabriel Rossetti reputedly became convinced the poem was about him.^[8]

The photographer

Photo of Alice Liddell taken by Lewis Carroll (1858).

Xie Kitchin, photographed by Lewis Carroll, 1876

In 1856, Dodgson took up the new art form of photography, first under the influence of his uncle Skeffington Lutwidge, and later his Oxford friend Reginald Southey. He soon excelled at the art and became a well-known gentleman-photographer, and he seems even to have toyed with the idea of making a living out of it in his very early years.^[8]

A recent study by Roger Taylor and Edward Wakeling^[14] exhaustively lists every surviving print, and Taylor calculates that just over fifty percent of his surviving work depicts young girls, though this may be a highly distorted figure as approximately 60% of his original photographic portfolio is now missing. ,^[15] so any firm conclusions are difficult. Dodgson also made many studies of men, women, male children and landscapes; his subjects also include skeletons, dolls, dogs, statues and paintings, and trees. His 'controversial' studies of nude children were long presumed lost, but six have since surfaced, five of which have been published.

Photo of John Everett Millais and his wife Effie Gray with two of their children, signed by Effie (c. 1860)

He also found photography to be a useful entrée into higher social circles. During the most productive part of his career, he made portraits of notable sitters such as John Everett Millais, Ellen Terry, Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Julia Margaret Cameron, Michael Faraday and Alfred, Lord Tennyson.^[8]

Dodgson abruptly ceased photography in 1880. Over 24 years, he had completely mastered the medium, set up his own studio on the roof of Tom Quad, and created around 3,000 images. Fewer than 1,000 have survived time and deliberate destruction. His reasons for abandoning photography remain uncertain.

With the advent of Modernism tastes changed, and his photography was forgotten from around 1920 until the 1960s. He is now considered by many to be one of the very best Victorian photographers, and is certainly the one who has had the most influence on modern art photographers.^{[citation needed]}

The inventor

To promote letter writing, Dodgson invented The Wonderland Postage-Stamp Case in 1889. This was a cloth-backed folder with twelve slots, two marked for inserting the then most commonly used 1d. stamp, and one each for the other current denominations to 1s. The folder was then put into a slip case decorated with a picture of Alice on the front and the Cheshire Cat on the back. All could be conveniently carried in a pocket or purse. When issued it also included a copy of Carroll's pamphletted lecture, Eight or Nine Wise Words About Letter-Writing.

Another invention is a writing tablet called the Nyctograph for use at night that allowed for note-taking in the dark; thus eliminating the trouble of getting out of bed and striking a light when one wakes with an idea. The device consisted of a gridded card with sixteen squares and system of symbols representing an alphabet of Dodgson's design.

Among the games he devised outside of logic, croquet, billiards and those played on a chess board, there are a number of word games, including an early version of what today is known as Scrabble. He also appears to have invented, or at least certainly popularised, the Word Ladder (or "doublet" as it was known at first); a form of brain-teaser that is still popular today: the game of changing one word into another by altering one letter at a time, each successive change always resulting in a genuine word. For instance, CAT is transformed into DOG by the following steps: CAT, COT, DOT, DOG.^[8]

Other items include a rule for finding the day of the week for any date; a means for justifying right margins on a typewriter; a steering device for a velociam (a type of tricycle); new systems of parliamentary representation;^[19] more nearly fair elimination rules for tennis tournaments; a new sort of postal money order; rules for reckoning postage; rules for a win in betting; rules for dividing a number by various divisors; a cardboard scale for the college common room he worked in later in life, which, held next to a glass, insured the right amount of liqueur for the price paid; a double sided adhesive strip for things like the fastening of envelopes or mounting things in books; a device for helping a bedridden invalid to read from a book placed sideways; and at least two ciphers.^[8]

The later years

Over the remaining twenty years of his life, throughout his growing wealth and fame, his existence remained little changed. He continued to teach at Christ Church until 1881, and remained in residence there until his death. His last novel, the two-volume Sylvie and Bruno, was published in 1889 and 1893 respectively. Its extraordinary convolutions and apparent confusion baffled most readers and it achieved little success. It does contain an extremely concise account of three-valued logic when Bruno counts "about a thousand and four" pigs because he is certain about the four but estimates the remainder. In three-valued logic, unknown plus four = unknown (see Null (SQL)).

The only occasion on which (as far as is known) he travelled abroad was a trip to Russia in 1867, which he recounts in his "Russian Journal" which was first commercially published in 1935.^[20]

He died on 14 January 1898 at his sisters' home, "The Chestnuts" in Guildford, of pneumonia following influenza. He was 2 weeks away from turning 66 years old. He is buried in Guildford at the Mount Cemetery.^[8]

Controversies and mysteries

The priesthood

Dodgson had been groomed for the ordained ministry in the Anglican Church from a very early age and was expected, as a condition of his residency at Christ Church, to take holy orders within four years of obtaining his master's degree. However, he evidently became reluctant to do this. He delayed the process for some time but eventually took deacon's orders on 22 December 1861. But when the time came a year later to progress to priestly orders, Dodgson appealed to the dean for permission not to proceed. This was against college rules, and initially Dean Liddell told him he would have to consult the college ruling body, which would almost undoubtedly have resulted in his being expelled. However, for unknown reasons, Dean Liddell changed his mind overnight and permitted Dodgson to remain at the college, in defiance of the rules.^[21] Uniquely amongst Senior Students of his time Dodgson never became a priest.

There is currently no conclusive evidence about why Dodgson rejected the priesthood. Some have suggested his stammer made him reluctant to take the step, because he was afraid of having to preach. ^[22] Wilson^[23] quotes letters by Dodgson describing difficulty in reading lessons and prayers rather than preaching in his own words. But Dodgson did indeed preach in later life, even though not in priests orders, so it seems unlikely his impediment was a major factor affecting his choice.^{[citation needed]}. Wilson also points out that the then Bishop of Oxford, Samuel Wilberforce, who ordained Dodgson, had strong views against members of the clergy going to the theatre, one of Dodgson's great interests. Others have suggested that he was having serious doubts about the Anglican church.^{[citation needed]} It is known that he was interested in minority forms of Christianity (he was an admirer of FD Maurice) and "alternative" religions (theosophy).^[24] Dodgson became deeply troubled by an unexplained sense of sin and guilt at this time (the early 1860s), and frequently expressed the view in his diaries that he was a "vile and worthless" sinner, unworthy of the priesthood.^[25], and this sense of sin and unworthiness may well have had an impact on his decision to abandon the priesthood.

There is currently no certain explanation of why he rejected the priesthood, or why he was, at this time in his life, assailed by a sense of guilt and sin.

The missing diaries

At least four complete volumes^[26] and around seven pages^[27] of text are missing from Dodgson's 13 diaries. The loss of the volumes remains unexplained; the pages have been deliberately removed by an unknown hand. Most scholars assume the diary material was removed by family members in the interests of preserving the family name, but this has not been proven.^[28] All of the missing material, with the exception of a single page, is believed to date from the period between 1853 (when Dodgson was 22) and 1863 (when he was 32).^[29]

Many theories have been put forward to explain the missing material. A popular explanation for one particular missing page (27 June 1863) is that it might have been torn out to conceal the belief that Dodgson had proposed marriage on that day to the 11-year old Alice Liddell. However, there has never been any evidence to suggest this was so, and a paper^[30] that came to light in the Dodgson family archive in 1996 provides some evidence to the contrary.

The "Cut Pages in Diary" document

The "cut pages in diary" document, in the Dodgson family archive in Woking, UK.

This paper, known as the "cut pages in diary document", was compiled by various members of Carroll's family after his death. Part of it at least was presumably written at the time that some of the pages were being mutilated, as it offers a brief summary of two diary pages that are now missing, including the one for 27 June 1863. The summary for this page states that Mrs. Liddell told Dodgson there was gossip circulating about him and the Liddell family's governess, as well as about his relationship with "Ina", presumably Alice's older sister, Lorina Liddell. The "break" with the Liddell family that occurred soon after was presumably in response to this gossip.^[31]^[32] An alternate interpretation has been made regarding Carroll's rumored involvement with "Ina": Lorina was also the name of Alice Liddell's mother. What is deemed most crucial and surprising is that the entry seems to make it clear Dodgson's break with the family was not connected with Alice at all.

Migraine and epilepsy

In his diary for the year 1880 Dodgson recorded experiencing his first episode of migraine with aura, describing very accurately the process of 'moving fortifications' that are a manifestation of the aura stage of the syndrome.^[33] Several people have suggested the odd experiences Alice undergoes in the stories may have been inspired by migraine-like symptoms.^{[citation needed]} Indeed a condition, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, has been named after it. Also known as micropsia and macropsia, it is a brain condition affecting the way objects are perceived by the mind. For example, an afflicted person may look at a larger object, like a basketball, and perceive it as if it were the size of a mouse.

Dodgson also suffered two attacks in which he lost consciousness. He was diagnosed by three different doctors; a Dr. Morshead, Dr. Brooks, and Dr. Stedman, believed the attack and a consequent attack to be an "epileptiform" seizure (initially thought to be fainting, but Brooks changed his mind). Some have concluded from this he was a lifetime sufferer from this condition, but there is no evidence of this in his diaries beyond the diagnosis of the two attacks already mentioned.^[34] Some authors, in particular Sadi Ranson, have suggested Carroll may have suffered from temporal lobe epilepsy in which consciousness is not always completely lost, but altered, and in which the symptoms mimic many of the same experiences as Alice in Wonderland. Note that Carroll had at least one incidence in which he suffered full loss of consciousness and awoke with a bloody nose, which he recorded in his diary and noted that the episode left him not feeling himself for "quite sometime afterward". This attack was diagnosed as possibly "epileptiform" and Carroll himself later wrote of his "seizures" in the same diary. It's worth noting that epilepsy runs in families, and Carroll had at least one other family member with epilepsy (also recorded in his diaries), and that speech hesitations, facial asymmetry, as well as some deafness are not uncommon in certain epilepsies. It is also recorded that several of Dodgson's siblings suffered from a speech hesitation, suggesting again that any existing neurological condition was within the family as reported in Interviews & Recollections, editor Morton N. Cohen.

Suggestions of paedophilia

Dodgson's friendships with young girls, together with his perceived lack of interest in romantic attachments to adult women, and psychological readings of his work—especially his photographs of nude or semi-nude girls^[35]—have all led to speculation that he was, in modern parlance, a paedophile. This possibility has underpinned numerous modern interpretations of his life and work, particularly Dennis Potter's play Alice and his screenplay for the motion picture, Dreamchild, and a number of recent biographies, including Michael Bakewell's Lewis Carroll: A Biography (1996), Donald Thomas's Lewis Carroll: A Portrait with Background (1996) and Morton N. Cohen's Lewis Carroll: A Biography (1995). All of these works more or less unequivocally assume that Dodgson was a paedophile, albeit a repressed and celibate one.

Cohen claims Dodgson's "sexual energies sought unconventional outlets", and further writes:

We cannot know to what extent sexual urges lay behind Charles's preference for drawing and photographing children in the nude. He contended the preference was entirely aesthetic. But given his emotional attachment to children as well as his aesthetic appreciation of their forms, his assertion that his interest was strictly artistic is naive. He probably felt more than he dared acknowledge, even to himself.^[36]

Cohen notes that Dodgson "apparently convinced many of his friends that his attachment to the nude female child form was free of any eroticism", but adds that "later generations look beneath the surface" (p. 229).

Cohen and other biographers argue that Dodgson may have wanted to marry the 11-year old Alice Liddell and that this was the cause of the unexplained "break" with the family in June 1863.^[37] But there has never been significant evidence to support the idea, and the 1996 discovery of the "cut pages in diary document" (see above) might imply that the 1863 "break" had less to do with Alice, but was perhaps connected with rumors involving her older sister Lorina, or possibly their governess.

Some writers, e.g., Derek Hudson and Roger Lancelyn Green, who have fallen short of accepting Dodgson as a paedophile, have tended to concur that he had a passion for small female children and next to no interest in the adult world.

This suggestion of pedophilia has become the central core of what has begun to be dubbed the 'Carroll Myth' and debunked by modern Carroll Scholars.

"The Carroll Myth"

The accepted view of Dodgson's biography has been challenged recently by a group of scholars led by Hugues Lebailly and Karoline Leach and others who argue that Dodgson's diaries and letters reveal him to have been very different in many key aspects from the traditional image. Leach's book, In the Shadow of the Dreamchild, in particular has raised a considerable amount of controversy.

Lebailly has endeavoured to set Dodgson's child-photography within the "Victorian Child Cult", which perceived child-nudity as essentially an expression of innocence. Lebailly claims that studies of child nudes were mainstream and fashionable in Dodgson's time and that most photographers, including Oscar Gustave Rejlander and Julia Margaret Cameron, made them as a matter of course. Lebailly continues that child nudes even appeared on Victorian Christmas cards—implying a very different social and aesthetic assessment of such material. Lebailly concludes that it has been an error of Dodgson's biographers to view his child-photography with 20th or 21st century eyes, and to have presented it as some form of personal idiosyncrasy, when it was in fact a response to a prevalent aesthetic and philosophical movement of the time.

Leach posed a new analysis of Dodgson's sexuality. She argues that the allegations of paedophilia rose initially from a misunderstanding of Victorian morals, as well as the mistaken idea, fostered by Dodgson's various biographers, that he had no interest in adult women. She termed the traditional image of Dodgson "the Carroll Myth".^[38] She asserts his diaries show he was also keenly interested in adult women, married and single, and enjoyed several scandalous (by the social standards of his time) relationships with them. In later life many of those he described as "child-friends" were girls in their late teens and even twenties.^[39] She argues that suggestions of paedophilia evolved only many years after his death, when his well-meaning family had suppressed all evidence of his relationships with women in an effort to preserve his reputation, thus giving a false impression of a man interested only in little girls. Similarly, Leach traces the claim that many of Carroll's female friendships ended when the girls reached the age of 14 to a 1932 biography by Langford Reed,^[40] who Leach claims intended to suggest from this that Dodgson was a "pure man" untainted by sexual desire.^[41]

Sherry L. Ackerman argues that the Carroll Myth also extends to traditional, mainstream views of Carroll's spirituality.^[42] Ackerman proposes that Carroll, rather than being a conservative Victorian Anglican, was actually a mystic. She links Carroll to the nineteenth century Neoplatonic Revival in Great Britain, as well as to accompanying trends of theosophy and spiritualism.

The concept of the Carroll Myth has been opposed by some leading Carroll scholars, in particular Morton Cohen and Martin Gardner.

Chapter III: Earth and the Aquatic Ape Theory

2009-02-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

Another topic I found on Everything2.com, but I'm a little wary to believe this one. It's still an interesting read though-----

Theory that huma ns underwent a semi-aquatic phase at some point in their evolution. First proposed by Sir Alister Hardy in the 1950s, and taken up in the 1970s by El aine Morgan in books such as The Descent of Woman and The Descent of the Child. Sometimes known as AAT.

A highly plausible and convincing theory to some, a load of nonsense to others. Has gained many adherents but is by no means the majority view, which is still basically that we came down from the trees in the savannah and learnt to throw things and became hairless for some such reason.

The beach-dwelling phase, if it occurred, probably occurred while we were all on the shores of the Red Sea or some such environment, but one of the biggest problems of the AAT is that no precise sequence in the fossil record, or gap in it if a gap is needed, can be pointed to as exactly the right time for the phase to have occurred.

Evidence for, not all of which needs to be correct or convincing for the theory as a whole to be believable:

subcutaneou s body fat, similar to aquatic mammals'
ability of new-born babies to swim
diving refle x: our breathing slows down underwater
hairlessness, except on head, that hair floating for infants to hang on to
long-chain fatty acid s composing the brain easily derived from marine food, not easily from savannah food
crying salt tears
resonant voice
upright posture, bipedalism
people with their hips together resemble dugongs in streamlining effect
webbing between fingers

Additional interesting bits of human physiology used in the argument for the AAT are:

The pattern of hair on our backs. Like all m ammals, humans are covered with short hair. The hair on our backs lays down and towards the center in a streamlined way that would theoretically facilitate swimming.
Noses. Compared to all other primates our noses are very long and rigid. Our nostrils point down as opposed to gorillas and chimps whose nostrils are almost flush with the face. This is quite useful when swimming for preventing water from getting into the respiratory system.
Geological evidence. At around the time that Hom o sapiens became a species in their own right, sea levels appear to have been higher than they are now in the areas where human fossil evidence is being found.
Swimming primates. Most primates cannot swim and do not like water. (If I remember correctly, chimps sink like rocks.) One exception is the Probosis monkey which has been seen wading biped ally in waist-deep water. Probosis monkeys have developed longer legs than many primates, and their proportions appear closer to humans than most other monkeys. Humans, however, love water. Look at the modern world and how cities and vacation spots are arranged. Few seem interested in touring savanna hs, but we flock to beaches.
Voluntary breath control. Primates are physiologically unable to hold their breath. However, humans have developed the ability to regulate their own breathing, a necessity for di ving.
Vocalization. The wide range of sounds we can make is due to the orientatio n of our larnyx. We share this feature with only a few other animals: the dugong, sea lion, and walrus.

Noted human zoologist Desmond Morris has been known to support aspects of aquatic ape theory as well. Although he has a certain amount of notoriety, he has spent most of his life studying the human species as an animal.

Chapter II: Portraits

2009-01-31T19:30:00.000-08:00

From Everything2.com---

"Why would any rational person choose portrait painting as a career? Before photography, painting was the best way to capture an image. Now, with modern technology that can capture an image in seconds, why spend years learning how to manipulate a centu ries-old medium? Furthermore, what rational person would commission a portrait painted of themselves and choose to sit idle and most likely uncomfortable and most definitely bored, for hours to end up with nothing but an image to hang on a wall and gather dust?

Portrait painting is a unique art, one that requires an extraordinary amount of time and dedication to master, and sitting for a portrait can be physically and mentally exhausting for a model. It would seem that modern photography has rendered the ancient art obsolete, but this is far from the truth. Photography can't replace painting (and vice versa) because the two mediums produce such different results. However, a good portrait painting is technically superior to a photograph, and a great portrait painting is more challenging to an artist and meaningful to a patron.

There are many reasons why painting, specifically oil painting, is technically superior to photography. Visual effects can be obtained by complex layering of paint that cannot be created by the layer of ink on a photograph. A basic example would be the technique of glazing, the layering of transparent oil containing translucent particles of pigment spread over a white ground. The colors produced can be nearly as luminous and bright as sunlight through stained glass and as subtle as skin tone or embroidered velvet. The brilliance of skin in a Rembrandt painting could not be represented by ink on paper. (In fact, it is impossible to accurately photograph a Rembrandt painting. Photography does not have the necessary range of expression to capture the full effect of light falling on his paintings.) Another more subtle example of oil painting's technical superiority would be the freedom of the artist to interpret the image. Michelangel o's figures in the Sistine Chapel could never have been photographed for a simple reason-- they could never have lived. The anatomical proportions of his figures are physically impossible. His conscious, incredibly graceful distortion of the human form succeeds in crafting powerful, intensely alive figures, a power that could not be tapped in photography.

It would seem that the most obvious difference between photography and oil painting would be necessary commitment of time. A photograph can be done in seconds, and then printed in a few hours. An oil painting can take hours of sitting for the model, and weeks if not months or years of work for the artist. Leonardo da Vinci's "M ona Lisa" was painted over a period of six years. This time commitment can be an obvious inconvenience for a model. However, the necessary time commitment of an oil painting is a necessary part of good portraiture. A woman's appearance, her physiognomy, is not simply determined by the way light reflects off the surface of her skin. It is conveyed in her facial expressions, in the way she holds her head, focuses her eyes, and in her posture. Unless a photographer is extremely familiar with the model, and unless the model is unusually good at sitting naturally and maintaining the unconscious tension of facial features that express a specific mood, the picture can be nothing but a snap-shot. It can only capture a temporary flash of expression that rarely captures anything deeper than a momentary thought or emotion.

A painter, on the other hand, has the opportunity to watch the model's expression change, to watch how she holds her head when she's tired, or excited, or melancholy, or content. The artist can incorporate these observations into the painting, expressing not only what the model looks like, but also how she looks. I painted a portrait of my father recently, and he commented that it's the only image he's ever seen that looks like him.

A good portrait painter has the ability to perceive and then convey the truth of a person's appearance; through this accurate depiction of appearance, a painting can simultaneously convey the truth about a person's character. Such painting can be an act of recognition, it can be an artist saying, "This is reality. This is fact.This is how you look to me, and who you are to me." But a good portrait is not great art.

Great art, like all greatness, is a challenge to those who encounter it. A great portrait painter would say, "this is what you could and should be. This is how beautiful you can be, how thoughtful, how alive." Looking at a great portrait is not like looking at a mirror for the model, it's like looking at a reflection of the model's best possible self.

To the man with high self worth, the portrait will be praise, a commendation every time he looks at it, but to the man of low self-esteem, it will be an unbearable reminder of his squandered potential. This powerful message is the ultimate goal of a great portrait painter. To the subject of the portrait, such an image is priceless.

Perhaps this is the meaning of Rainer Maria Rilke's poem, "Archaic Torso of Apollo." The poet writes of the stunning beauty of an ancient sculpture, and ends, "for here there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life.""

Chapter I: Figure Sketches

2009-01-31T19:13:00.000-08:00

Draw"ing, n.

1. The act of pulling, or attracting.

2. The act or the art of representing any object by means of lines and shades; especially, such a representation when in one color, or in tints used not to represent the colors of natural objects, but for effect only, and produced with hard material such as pencil, chalk, etc.; delineation; also, the figure or representation drawn.

3. The process of stretching or spreading metals as by hammering, or, as in forming wire from rods or tubes and cups from sheet metal, by pulling them through dies.

4. Textile Manufactur

The process of pulling out and elongating the sliver from the carding machine, by revolving rollers, to prepare it for spinning.

5. The distribution of prizes and blanks in a lottery.

⇒ Drawing is used adjectively or as the first part of compounds in the sense of pertaining to drawing, for drawing (in the sense of pulling, and of pictorial representation); as, drawing master or drawing-master, drawing knife or drawing-knife, drawing machine, drawing board, drawing paper, drawing pen, drawing pencil, etc.

A drawing of tea, a small portion of tea for steeping. -- Drawing knife. See in the Vocabulary. -- Drawing paper Fine Arts, a thick, sized paper for draughtsman and for water-color painting. -- Drawing slate, a soft, slaty substance used in crayon drawing; -- called also black chalk, or drawing chalk. -- Free-hand drawing, a style of drawing made without the use of guiding or measuring instruments, as distinguished from mechanical or geometrical drawing; also, a drawing thus executed.